Friday, September 28, 2012

Hello, Hormonal Rollercoaster

Sometimes I cant help but feel so. fucking. alone. It's like everybody I've come to associate myself with is in  Planet Friday Night Fun and Happiness. And Im here, stuck in my own boring, lonely world. And it sucks. Not only does this feeling suck but the fact that Im actually feeling this way is suckish too. Did I even make sense there? I just dont want to feel like Im missing out on something, that one day I'll wake up and disappear and people wont remember me. That's the scariest shit of all.  Ok, this is basically an incoherent post about my feelings but so what? It's not like anybody I know in real life is going to find this place anyway. It's actually a bittersweet thing. A part of me wants people to see how Im not 100% put together. Im basically a crumbling mess that just wants someone, ANYONE to be my glue that keeps me together. But then the other part detests such vulnerability. I dont want people thinking Im weak, incapable and so fuckin insecure about myself.  I dont want them looking down on me. I have enough of myself doing that already...


This is beyond PMS. Then again, what do you expect from someone who's bleeding "down there" for more or less a month now. Ugh.


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